it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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