i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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