I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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