just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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