hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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