Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
