I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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