his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
