Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
