It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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