Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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