barbara walters just said penis...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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