Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
