Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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