Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
