My sheets look like a crime scene.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize