i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
