were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we're so committed to being not committed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
