Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
