Where did you get a picture of my penis
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
