were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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