Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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