We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Randomize
