this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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