I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
