I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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