That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
