someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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