the condom got lost in my hair
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
