you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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