I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
