I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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