I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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