And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
birth control should be required to get into college
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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