I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
home. puking in laundry basket.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
