areolas are like halos for boobs.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
