where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
