That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
