i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
