after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
