I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize