Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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