Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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