Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
