help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
