if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
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Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet