Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
