hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?