The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?