This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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