my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hippo gnu deer
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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