he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
