please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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