It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
