meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
