so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize