Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize