What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I smell stomach acid.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
