girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
