we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
