ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
