I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize