She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
